


Becoming His Father

by docmatthew



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drug Use, F/M, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-04-25
Packaged: 2018-03-07 16:27:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/docmatthew/pseuds/docmatthew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some time ago Rafael Barba became a father but the mother refused to allow him into his sons life. Fourteen years later while he has a comfortable life with Noah and Olivia, he has been thrust into his son's troubled life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There were many things in Rafael’s life that he liked to keep secret, and private. Honestly most of his life was kept under wraps from everyone, even Olivia. Rafael had been on his own for so long that he was just used to it, so he didn’t share details unless he was asked directly about it. That’s why when his phone rang, and a Miami, Florida area code came up he quickly excused himself from Olivia and Noah, and went into the kitchen. He sighed, knowing nothing good was going to come of this phone call, and answered it.

“Hello?” He asked with only a small amount of bitterness in his voice.

“Is this Rafael Barba?” A man asked.

“Yes. It is. How can I help you?” Rafael leaned against the counter top.

“This is Harper Anderson. I work with Child Protective Services in Miami.” Mr. Anderson explained. “I am calling in concern for your son, Alexander Fisher.”

“Um…I’m,” he rubbed his forehead. “I’m not really involved in his life. His mother won’t allow me in…I don’t know why you’re calling. I’ve never actually spoken with him.” 

“Well, sir. As true as that might be, there is a problem. Ms. Fisher has been arrested and charged with possession, trafficking, and child endangerment.”

“Oh my god. Is Alexander alright?” Rafael felt his heart skip a beat.

“Alexander is physically fine.” Mr. Anderson informed Rafael. “However, since you are his next of kin we are going to need you to come to Miami. His mother is looking at a lot of years in prison and he will need to live with someone. She has no next of kin.”

“I know. She’s an orphan…” He blinked a few times. Not sure how to feel. “I…She can’t make bail?”

“No, sir. She cannot.”

“…Okay. Okay. I’ll get a ticket and be there as soon as possible. I’m sure I can book a flight for tonight,” he checked his watch. “Is he…where is he right now?”

“With CPS in a group home. He will remain there until you come to get him.” Mr. Anderson told him. “We can have a driver pick you up from the airport. Call me back with the rest of your information, sir.”

“Okay. Thank you, Mr. Anderson.” Rafael bit his lip.

“You are welcome, Mr. Barba.”

Rafael nodded against the phone and hung up. He stood there for a while until Olivia rounded the corner and looked at him with concern. It took a second but he looked up at Olivia and Noah and he frowned deeply.

“I need to tell you something….something important and…it might make you angry with me.” He told her.

“Okay…” Olivia looked at him for a long moment. “It’s time for Noah’s nap. I’ll put him down then we can talk.” Olivia went off to do that and Rafael made himself a cup of coffee. It was only noon on a Sunday but he needed something. Olivia came back and they sat down in the living room. “Okay…what’s going on, Rafa?”

“Well,” he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “About fourteen years ago I dated this girl named Julia…it wasn’t a good relationship. She was toxic. Had a nasty drug problem, and just in general dragged me down…We broke up and I never thought I’d see her again…” He looked up at Olivia. “I didn’t until five years later. She came up to me at my home. She informed me that….that I…” He sighed and bit his lip. “She told me I had a son, and that I would never be able to see him or talk to him. Ever. She wanted to hurt me badly,” a single tear slipped down his face and he quickly pushed it away.

“Oh my god, Rafael. Why didn’t you tell me?” Olivia looked hurt, and Rafael couldn’t blame her.

“It took me a long time to accept that I’d never be part of his life. She was very good at making it so I couldn’t see him.” He sighed. “I just…it’s painful and…I didn’t want to bring it up. I never thought that it would need to be brought up.”

Olivia paused for a moment before moving to the couch and putting her arms around him. This was obviously something very hard for Rafael to confront but he was dealing with it. She kissed his temple as he did his best not to cry.

“Um…it would seem that Julia’s habit has finally caught up with her,” he looked at Olivia. “She’s in jail, and can’t post bail. They live in Miami…I need to go down and get m-my son.”

“Okay…Okay. Let’s get online and find you a ticket.” Olivia pulled away and go the laptop out.

“I….I don’t think you should go.” Rafael frowned. “He hates me. Blames me for not being around. Uh, Julia…she made it seem like I chose to not be part of his life. I just…don’t want to bring in my girlfriend and make this…hard or weird for him, you know?”

“I know, and I don’t think I should go either.” Olivia agreed. “I’ll get a ticket. You go pack.”

She could tell Rafael needed to be alone so he nodded and got up. He leaned down and kissed her softly before going to pack for a few days. It wasn’t too long later when Olivia came into Noah’s room, where Rafael had ended up, and told him about his plane ticket. He was just looking at Noah. Olivia had made it clear that even though they weren’t married that Noah was his son. He cared so deeply for the boy.

“It leaves in a hour and a half. Just enough time to get there.” Olivia told him and he nodded. “Rafael…things will be okay.”

“I’m just scared. He hates me…” Rafael sighed and leaned down to kiss Noah. “I’ll take a cab. You need to stay here with Noah.” He smiled and grabbed his bag. He kissed Olivia. “I’ll be back a few days, Olivia. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Olivia smiled and kissed him back. “And Things aren’t going to be a disaster like you’re thinking.”

“You know me well.” He chuckled, but nodded.

With that Rafael left the room, and the apartment. He hailed and cab, headed to Miami after calling Mr. Anderson back and telling him the details. 

+++

The plane ride wasn’t bad but Rafael was stressed. He got off the plane and went to baggage claim. After getting his bag he found Mr. Anderson out in the car area. They shook hands and got in the car. Rafael stared out the windows with a frown. He didn’t even know what his son looked like anymore. The only picture he had ever seen was when the boy was five. Now he was fourteen. As they pulled up to the group home Rafael got very nervous. He stayed in the car for a good five minutes before getting out and following Mr. Anderson into the house.

“There he is.” Mr. Anderson pointed to the boy hiding in the corner of the room with his hood up and headphones in.

Rafael’s heart stopped. The kid had jet black hair, and his face. He looked just like Rafael did at fourteen but with paler skin. He was so skinny Rafael was afraid he was under fed. He wore black skinny jeans with holes, red Converse, a Queen t-shirt and a black zip up hoodie. The only thing that wasn’t really Rafael was the thick black square glasses he wore, and as he looked closer he saw the ice blue eyes that belonged to his mother. After his heart decide to work again he took a hesitate step forward and then another.

“Alexander?” Rafael said softly. Mr. Anderson was behind him. The boy didn’t answer. “Alexander?” He said a little louder and the boy’s eyes shot up.

“AJ.” The boy said with a glare. He took out headphones that Rafael could hear from four feet away. “No one calls me Alexander.” He rolled his eyes and stood up. The boy sized Rafael up. He was in a nice suit, like always. “You’re my dead beat dad, right? Randall or something.”

“Um…Rafael,” he said sadly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know you went by AJ.”

“Maybe if you had deiced to stick around in my life you’d have found some stuff out.” AJ shot back.

“AJ…I…” He was lost as to what to say.

“Fuck off. Let’s just go, okay?” AJ grabbed his backpack and started walking to the door.

Rafael took a deep breathe before following him with a frown. They got into the car with Mr. Anderson again and headed to the apartment that AJ and Julia lived in. It was in a tough part of town, Rafael sighed. It wasn’t a good place, and he hated to think his son lived there. He wondered what Julia did with all the child support he paid but realized it must have gone to drugs.

“You can stay here, Mr. Barba. If you wish.” Mr. Anderson informed him as they all got out of the car. AJ was like a shot past them, going into the apartment and straight to his room. Rafael heard the door slam. “He’s a tough kid, sir. I’ve had dealing with him his whole life.” Mr. Anderson sighed. “Take it easy. He…he think you abandoned him by choice.”

“I never wanted to-“ He cut himself off and nodded. “Thank you.”

“If there is anything I can do, call me.” Mr. Anderson gave him a card before leaving.

Rafael bit his lip and walked into the apartment more. It was tiny, run down, and unclean. Rafael sighed and walked back to AJ’s room. The music was blearing and he knocked loudly at the door. Nothing came so he eased the door open.

“AJ?” He asked softly and finally the music went down.

“What?” The boy shouted.

“I was just…have you eaten dinner?” Rafael asked.

“Yeah. I have. Had some Doritos back at the house.” AJ was playing with a baseball.

“That’s not really dinner though.” Rafael pointed out. “Where’s your favorite place to eat? We can go there.”

“Don’t…Don’t try to come into my fuckin’ life and act like a dad. Just order some pizza. I don’t eat meat so no pep. That too complex or can you handle that?” 

“I can handle that.” Rafael looked down and frowned. “I’ll get us that pizza.”

An hour later the pizza came and Rafael had it set up in the living room. AJ came out and sat on the ground in front of the TV and turned on COPS. Rafael flinched at it, he hated the show. Rafael watched the boy for a few minutes.

“Um…” he pulled out his phone. “I wanted to …show you something, AJ.”

“What…” he rolled his eyes and turned around to look at Rafael.

“Just…this. I guess.” He held out his phone to show a photo of Noah and Olivia. “That’s…my son Noah, and my girlfriend Olivia.”

“Fucking great. Of course you’ve got some stupid, perfect, little family all to your own. Don't need me or Mom for your perfect fuckin' life.” AJ threw down his pizza. “Leave me alone, Rafael.” He started to walk away but Rafael followed.

“I didn’t mean it like that, AJ. I just…thought….wanted to share with you.” Rafael stood in the door way.

AJ tensed up and kicked the nearest thing, his dresser. He then grabbed a bottle off the top of it. Rafael frowned as he saw it was a prescription bottle.

“What’s that?” He asked as AJ poured four pills into his hand.

“Painkillers, stupid.” He popped them into his mouth and hit play on his stereo. “Leave me the fuck alone, Rafael.” AJ shouted over The Clash and flopped down on the bed. He turned his back to his father and held onto the pillow. Rafael stared, feeling his heart race. His son was taking painkillers. He couldn’t…he quickly left and ran into the living room.

It would seem his son had picked up Julia’s habit. Rafael sat down on the couch and felt sick. 


	2. Transition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rafael has to start getting AJ ready to move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't had this read through and edited. So, my apologies for grammar mistakes, typos, and misspellings.

Asa Butterfield as AJ Fisher

 

Nearly a week had passed since Rafael arrived in Miami, and still he had no way to talking to AJ for more than a few seconds at a time. The boy spent most of his day out at skate parks anyways, and what time he did spend at home was spent in his room with music turned up loud and pills slipping into his mouth. Rafael was more than worried. Seeing his son doing drugs was killing him, but he had no way of talking to AJ about it since the boy wanted nothing to do with him.

Rafael knew he'd have to bite the bullet sooner rather than later that AJ was going to have to come back to New York City with him. He knew the boy was going to pit a fit. What kid wouldn't at being ripped away from all he knows? But Rafael didn't have a choice. His life was in New York and it was easier to uproot his son then it was for him to uproot himself. He had already talked to Olivia about what was going on, he told her everything including the drugs. Olivia was less than pleased but she also understood AJ had no other place to go and he was Rafael's son after all. Rafael even offered to move back out and get another place for him and AJ but Olivia told him their new place was big enough for all four of them. Rafael was so thankful he had her, if he didn't he had no idea what he'd do.

So, Rafael waited for AJ to get back from the skate park. The boy rushed through the door with another two boys in tow. Rafael wasn't expecting company and frowned as the boys quickly made a bee line for the kitchen, dropping their bags and boards by the door in a heap. Rafael heaved a huge sigh and went into the kitchen. One of the boys was smaller than AJ and had sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, and the other was a rather large boy with black hair and dark eyes. The last boy seemed a few years older than the other two. Possibly sixteen. 

"Matty," AJ looked at the bigger boy. "Do you have it?" 

"Of course." Matty brushed past Rafael, not even noticing him there and got into his bag. He pulled out a baggie and came back into the kitchen. "Fifty five dollars, man."

"Dude." AJ pulled out some money and held it out for Matty to take. Rafael's eyes widened as he realized it was a drug deal. 

"Really?" Rafael asked sharply. "Right in front of me?" 

"Shut up. God. What's your fucking problem?" AJ rolled his eyes as he took the baggie and looked at the pills inside.

"My problem is my son is doing a drug deal right in front of me." Rafael shot back. 

"He's obviously never done d rugs before," the littler boy said with a laugh.

"Su padre es un puto perdedor," the older boy started to say.

"I speak Spanish." Rafael glared. "You know what. Out. Both of you. AJ, you stay. We have to talk."

"No. We're going to ride down to the beach and meet up with some friends, and go to a bonfire." AJ looked at Rafael in disbelief.

"No. We're talking. Matt, and you. Out now." He pointed at the boys. "Or I call the cops and they sort out the drugs you just sold my son."

Quickly the two boys bolted out of the kitchen, grabbing their stuff and shouting quick goodbyes to AJ. Rafael rubbed his forehead and AJ just glared at him. AJ jumped up onto the counter top and sat there, his feet dangling. He pulled out a little blue pill from the sack and threw it up in the air and caught it in his mouth as if it were candy.

"AJ..." Rafael looked at him sadly.

"Are you going to lecture me on how bad drugs are?" AJ rolled his eyes. "I've gotten the lecture before."

"No. I'm going to talk to you about moving." Rafael crossed his arms over his chest.

"Moving? What're you talking about?" AJ looked confused.

"You're coming to New York with me." Rafael bit his bottom lip.

"No." AJ shook his head. "I'm staying here. Mom will be out of jail soon and I'll stay here."

"Your mom is going to be in jail for the next seven to ten years." Rafael pointed out.

That seemed to catch AJ's attention. He shook his head and stared at Rafael for a long time. Rafael was starting to get worried as he stared. 

"Then you move here," AJ told him.

"I can't." Rafael replied.

"Why? Because of that bitch on your phone? The one with the fucking kid?!" AJ shouted.

"Don't call her a bitch," Rafael gritted his teeth. "But no. That's not the only reason. I've only passed the bar in New York so I can only practice in New York. I have a job, a family, and responsibilities in New York." Rafael sighed.

"And I don't have those here?!" AJ was close to tears.

"Aj, please. I know this will be hard on you-"

"You don't know fucking shit!" AJ shouted at him and got off the counter top. "You're a fucking asshole. I fucking hate you!"

With that AJ ran off to his room. The next sound Rafael heard was the door slamming and AJ's turning his stereo on loudly. The sounds of The Who filled the air in the house. Rafael sat down in the living room and sighed. This was going to be a struggle every step of the way.


End file.
